Man Enough: How to Protect Boys from Online Misogyny

by Matteo Bergamini, Shout Out UK, CEO, United Kingdom.

The proliferation of extremist content and ragebait across digital spaces has continued to grow and we are starting to see its real world impact. From growing division to offline escalation, this could not be more true for one specific type of extremism: extremist misogyny – particularly across the network of accounts and content creators which has come to be known as the ‘manosphere’.

In the UK we have seen a 37% increase in recorded crimes of violence against women and girls between 2019 and the end of 2023 – a National Police Report has called it an “epidemic”. Sexism has existed for many generations. However, what we are seeing online and within school environments is that, alongside sexism and discriminatory attitudes, there is a growing hatred towards women and girls. Some students at a school in the UK, for example, recently reported that their male peers were drawing up ‘rape lists’ of classmates in their group chats.

Across digital spaces,disinformation actors, often exploiting emerging technologies like AI, aim to spread divisive content for a variety of reasons. In the case of the manosphere, its primary focus is to groom young boys during vulnerable moments in their development in an attempt to extract money through  online ‘courses’ which promise a quick fix to age-old concerns and insecurities boys have always had around money, fitness, girls and dating. 

Schools and parents are on the frontlines in protecting our boys, but they are struggling and in need of support. Man Enough: How to Protect Boys from Online Misogyny  was written from our desire to plug the parental knowledge gap.

Drawing on our expert-led media literacy programmes, Man Enough teaches parents how to talk so their boys will listen. From online safety, to spotting disinformation manipulation tactics and building emotional resilience, this guide empowers parents to help their sons build resistance to manipulation, lead healthier online lives, and foster respectful relationships.

We are living in a reality where our parenting practices must encompass the reality of the digital spaces our kids inhabit. Instead of only talking to them about the online world when we think there’s a problem, we need to show genuine curiosity early on and normalise discussing the different platforms young people use and the content they see there. When we start those open conversations early, asking for help or talking about ‘weird stuff’ online becomes second nature for kids, removing one of the manosphere’s primary defences: secrecy.

It’s also important to acknowledge that we must move away from demonising boys for adopting attitudes they have learned online, and focus on how to build their resilience so they don’t fall down these misogynistic rabbit holes in the first place. Boys are not inherently sexist or misogynistic. Conspiracy theories and disinformation often rely on exploiting our own biases and vulnerable moments to short circuit our critical thinking. This is compounded by the infinite scroll and personalised targeting of social media which optimises the likelihood of coming across disinformation and hateful content. 

We must tackle the predatory business models of social media as a matter of urgency.  The WHO Director-General Dr. Tedros Ghebreyesus remarked at the Munich Security Conference 2020, “We’re not just fighting an epidemic; we’re fighting an infodemic.” Whilst there have been some collective efforts made to stem this flow of disinformation, the negative impacts prevail. A recent report by Refuge and the End Violence Against Women coalition (EVAW) found that 47% of women aged 16–24 have experienced some form of VAWG (Violence Against Women & Girls) online.

Society must take collective steps to support all those on the frontline to ensure our democracies and societies develop immunity to this type of content. At Shout Out UK we focus on skills-based prebunking methodologies for schools and professionals. Like a vaccination, prebunking builds psychological resistance before exposure by explaining and dissecting the manipulation tactics used by bad actors in advance. This means that when you encounter ‘rage-bait’ or disinformation online, your cognitive ‘antibodies’ are triggered before the manipulation sets in. Our book, Man Enough, converts these lessons into actionable steps for parents. By combining these techniques with fostering open conversations with boys about their digital experiences early on, and listening to their perspectives with empathy, we can create a hostile environment for disinformation actors. Where parents have the will to fight extremist misogyny, Man Enough provides the tools.